Go Go Go

So when you start something new or even in your daily tasks, do you have these amazing thoughts of where it will go, how it will work, that it will come together great and be everything you hoped for with very little or minimal bumps along the way? I DO.

Jeff and I have been in a long-standing discussion of my 'to-do' lists and the expectations I put on myself. It's interesting that the expectations I do put on myself tend to me unrealistic (though seem completely attainable at the time) and so I go and go and go (usually trying to do it in my own power) and feeling like I do when I'm swimming; using a lot of energy and yet not moving anywhere I want quickly. Pondering this ... doesn't it boil down to priorities? What really should our priorities be? And even if our priorities are right, how busy is too busy? What can be left off the 'to-do' list? I understand that this will be different for every person but Christmas is pulling into our yards and close to knocking at our doors so the time is here where busyness happens and priorities tend to be forgotten.

Something I'm going to try to keep more in the front of my mind this Christmas season. And let's not forget the wonderful cliche "Jesus is the Reason for the Season"


Ashlee

Oh Deer!

Our last blog was October 15th being over 3 weeks ago Ashlee started dropping subtle hints that I should write something new. I love the way that Ashlee hints. Her messages aren't generally seruptitiously hidden in vocal inflection, winks, smirks, or flirty banter. Occasionaly she imbeds them in cute notes, little reminders, or whispers in my ear. Sometimes, her hints drift through the air like flittering feathers or highlight our home as subtely as a rainbow the newly cleared sky. But her hint for the blog came in the subtle form of Grenade like NOTES on my desk reading "NEW BLOG" or lightly breathed peals of thunder such as "JEFF, WRITE A NEW BLOG." Being the intelligent and attentive husband that I am, I picked up on it right away, well... after 5 hints!! Oh yeah, Check me out guys, that's right, check me out...I am totally on the ball.

She has a point though, we don't want to keep our burgeoning reader base (judging by the number of comments a whole 3 of you...thank-you Sharon, Glen and Mom) waiting too long for the next update on our work. The clock is ticking. Our formal work with HomeChurch is done the end of December. Honestly, these last months have been very difficult. I have spent so much time working on my Thesis Research that whenever issues with the Church popped up, or I had to attend my regular meetings with Pastor Jim that I felt as thought a 13 Million candle power flood light beamed down on me. As I would try to glare into the light and discern where I last was in my small group work, or disciple and leader training I inevitabley interpreted Jim's gentle visage as the blunt end of a poacher's AR15 Fully Automatic Assault Rifle. A Deer caught in the headlights, and unprepared worker caught by his boss.

Really, this characterizes how I have felt about most things in my life recently. Not the deer fearing for my life...the unprepared worker caught in the net of his responsibilities or expectations. Just yesterday Ashlee expressed to me her frustration at the recent decline in our time together. Despite what she says, I feel it is my responsibility. I have recently been impacted by the lack of effort I have put into retaining my relationships with my parents (including my in-laws) and my siblings (including the in-laws) and my friends. Everyday my thesis hangs over my head reminding me, "you have work you're not doing." And day after day I struggle with trying to work for HomeChurch, giving the ministry what it deserves, while not neglecting anything else. Most aggravating of all is that too often I try and I push and I think and I work to get everything done and only when the weight gets to be too much do I think of God. Or when He interupts me in the middle of the day to pray or lays someone or something on my mind or speaks to me by His Spirit giving me direction and advise I put Him off. He is my Lord and so often He finds me the unprepared worker. I have not prepared my heart and my mind for Him to command. I have not prepared through worship, reading Scripture and communing with Him in prayer.

And in all this. I am humbled by the grace and love exhibited by Ashlee, my families and friends, Jim and Home Church and the source of it all, God. I may not understand most of everything in the world and I probably don't really understand everything I think I do. But at least I have picked up on the not so hidden hint of God that He loves me and has grace for me.